I Gave Up Church for God

I want to live and breathe God. He is by far the most amazing experience I’ve had in my life thus far…I wouldn’t trade it for wealth, fame, relationships or anything else this world has to offer…

I come from a very religious background but I’ve never considered myself “religious”. I’ve always tried to be as genuine as possible in my faith. I never wanted to push my beliefs on others (although at times I may have failed) but I did want to share my story. I realize now how religion played a role in boxing me in.  I’ve often questioned things I’ve learned at church especially when one church said one thing and a different church said another.  I wanted to find my own answer.  I’m not big fan of authority figures. I guess I’m rebel at heart kind of like Jesus.

At one point, I went to church, attended not one but two bible studies and served the church in multiple facets including leadership.  Honestly, all that together weighed me down like a ton of bricks.  I was exhausted by all the religiosity. And I’ve never felt farther from God than when I was busiest at church. But this again, is my personal experience. I don’t doubt that others have found their experiences uplifting. And not to say I didn’t benefit from church because I did. There is something uniquely beautiful about worshipping God with others. And I do believe there are authentic people in the church and others that are just trying to find their way the best they know how…

But for me, organized religion suffocated me. I am already a discipline person; I don’t need more structure. In fact that is the last thing I need. It kills my creativity, my freedom to think, feel, and be. In fact, I need less structure. That is where I thrive.  That is where God and me are limitless…

I’ve let go of a lot expectations from friends, family, society and what people will think of the new, hippy dippy version me.  And I’ve got to say, I’ve never felt freer.  I want that freedom for everybody.  I believe that everyone experiences God in their own way.  My purpose is to simply be the best human I can possibly be.  I pray that I can do justice to God’s plan for me and therefore inspire others to do the same in their own journey.  That would be my ultimate dream…

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The Dirty Truth About Marriage

lisaormsby (10 of 35)

Doesn’t it intrigue you that something as sacred as marriage has its dirty little secrets? Don’t get me wrong, I have cherished my marriage for almost 8 years now and I still love him to pieces. But the question is, is that enough?

Some of you may think I sound ridiculous, thinking how can she love someone so much but simulaneously consider parting ways? Well, let me tell you my dirty little secret. I love my husband but I love myself more. This recent ephiphany of mine has shifted my view on marriage.  My husband and me were great partners when we were in our 20s because we had the same life goals. But in our 30s, I think our life goals have changed significantly. Let’s just say a decade of life can change one’s perspective.

I think my husband and I have both made our share of compromises which we thought were necessary in our marriage. But what if those compromises take you to the point where you don’t even recognize yourself anymore? Is it still beneficial to stay together purely out of loyalty?  Do we really love each other if we are holding each other back in any way from our true calling in life?

I feel like I’m a gypsy soul at heart with love of travel and unconventionalism. My husband is more traditional; he adores the idea of a family and a home. Can we meld the two together so that both parties are happy? Maybe we balance each other like the ying and the yang.

Let me leave you with these last thoughts.  Is lifetime commitment too much to ask from someone seeing as we change throughout the course of life or is it nature to want to form a lifetime partnership, to settle down and have a family?  Thanks in advance for participating in this tantalizing topic!

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