The Dirty Truth About Marriage

lisaormsby (10 of 35)

Doesn’t it intrigue you that something as sacred as marriage has its dirty little secrets? Don’t get me wrong, I have cherished my marriage for almost 8 years now and I still love him to pieces. But the question is, is that enough?

Some of you may think I sound ridiculous, thinking how can she love someone so much but simulaneously consider parting ways? Well, let me tell you my dirty little secret. I love my husband but I love myself more. This recent ephiphany of mine has shifted my view on marriage.  My husband and me were great partners when we were in our 20s because we had the same life goals. But in our 30s, I think our life goals have changed significantly. Let’s just say a decade of life can change one’s perspective.

I think my husband and I have both made our share of compromises which we thought were necessary in our marriage. But what if those compromises take you to the point where you don’t even recognize yourself anymore? Is it still beneficial to stay together purely out of loyalty?  Do we really love each other if we are holding each other back in any way from our true calling in life?

I feel like I’m a gypsy soul at heart with love of travel and unconventionalism. My husband is more traditional; he adores the idea of a family and a home. Can we meld the two together so that both parties are happy? Maybe we balance each other like the ying and the yang.

Let me leave you with these last thoughts.  Is lifetime commitment too much to ask from someone seeing as we change throughout the course of life or is it nature to want to form a lifetime partnership, to settle down and have a family?  Thanks in advance for participating in this tantalizing topic!

For the AUDIO version, click here!

 

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9 thoughts on “The Dirty Truth About Marriage

  1. I love my commitment to my husband. It is for life. Yes, it is hard to maintain commitment; however, when true love comes you want to cling to it tightly. I have not lost my identity as writer when I became a wife and mom. My identity expanded in wonderful, fulfilling ways. I hope you find your way to happiness. Prayer is a deep part of whom I am too. I will pray for you.

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    1. Hi Mary! I think it’s wonderful you are committed to your husband! I have been with my husband for a good 10 years now but I have to say the last two years have been esp. rough due to the health issues I have faced. Let’s just say it challenged our relationship to the core. I’m very happy to hear you were able to add writing and kids to them mix in a fulfilling way. I hope that’s something I can do but if not that’s okay too. Everyone is different. My childhood makes me reluctant to have my own children. That is my struggle. I’m sure your life story is much different than mine. (: Prayer is also a deep part of my life but I know it doesn’t mean I will fly through life without these types of bumps… It actually makes me cling to God more. I am very fulfilled in my spiritual life, my community and I am full of joy. But my marriage is the one thing that I think we need to revamp in my life right now as I have changed every other facet in my life recently. After undergoing many internal changes my outlook on life is vastly different than when we first got married… We are seeing a couples counselor to see if we can get on the same page and I believe we have had a recent breakthrough which I have not written about yet! So, I’m very thankful for that. So keep sending those positive vibes. (; Thanks! Xo

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    1. Hey Nathan! I think I’ve read that article before! It’s funny because I did not date much before marriage and we were committed before we lived with each other. So, I guess that’s why we’ve been together for a good 10 years. Maybe that’s good ammunition for fighting off the typical struggles of marriage. It’s hard to pin-point our main issue in our marriage now but I think it has to do with my recent spiritual awakening and feeling like I’m on a completely different page than my husband. We are currently seeing a counselor who helped us through what I call a break-through so I’m very hopeful that we can get back on the same page in the near future. I can already see positive changes. Thanks for reading my blog and responding! (:

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  2. I’m a gypsy soul at heart with love of travel and unconventionalism and the answer is YES you can. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years. The differences in us is one of the things that drew us together. We complete each other.

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    1. Hey Pam! I’m so glad it worked out for you. Yes, next year I’m considering traveling solo if my husband is not up for it. There are of course other things still up in the air like kids and our spiritual paths but one thing at a time lol

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