My birthday is just around the corner. 34 is looking quite different than I thought it would. I thought I’d have kids, a house and a thriving career by now. Not that it’s looking bad these days. I’m happily married, live in sunny California and am the mom to one of the best dogs in the world (Okay, I’m a little biased here). Life’s good.
I could compare myself to other people and think wow, I should be much farther in life. But COME ON, when has that ever made anyone happy? I finally decided to stop the drama. I turned that show off and began to write a new story for myself.
I’m lucky. I’ve checked off a lot of things that were on my bucket list. I’ve lived overseas, backpacked in Europe, sky dived, learned to play guitar, seen the Northern lights, started a business, sung open mic, volunteered for the homeless and the list goes on. Like I’ve said I’ve lived a full life and there’s not much I regret. Although I love adventures let’s be honest, I was a little obsessed with checking things off the list. I forgot to soak up those experiences while I lived them. They passed me by so fast I barely remember. I was so young and in such a rush to conquer the world. I wish I could re-experience those things now with the eyes that I have today.
This last year of my life taught me to love my life again! That is why 34 is extra special to me. It might not be the big 30 or 40, but it is the year I got my life back. I lost my child-like joy as I became an adult. I was suffocated by what was expected of me. Now, I know those shackles no longer have power over me. I get to choose my life. Unconventional or not. So, what if I don’t have kids yet? So what’s if I’m not at the top of my industry? So what if my life doesn’t look perfect from the outside?! I’m true to myself and that’s all that really matters. I have found my inner peace and I think that’s better than just looking fancy.
I suffered from depression on and off most of my life and I’m finally free. I love myself just as God loves me without the shame, guilt, and without conditions. I’m human, I know that I will struggle with ups and downs but I’m now rooted in my true identity. It doesn’t revolve around the external world but rather my internal one. I can experience life without fear of judgement. I am secure in the arms of God. Hallelujah!
I’d like to turn this blog into a conversation. Have any of you felt boxed in by the expectations of others? And if so what do you intend to do about it or what have you already done to break free?
Also, what brings you joy and inner peace? Please, do more of that! And to send you off I’d like to end on a quote by Nelson Mandela. “As we let our own light shine we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.”
Love & Light, Lisa
P.S. Listen to the audio version HERE!